Maybe This Year Everyone Gets a Microwave

My husband left early one morning this week, and I slept in. Which meant one thing: my trusty coffee pot warmer turned off, and I was left with cold coffee.

In true mom fashion, I was trying not to wake the entire household by microwaving it, so I sat there content, sipping my cold coffee versus the alternative of waking everyone up. Kris texted me a quick “How’s your morning?” and I shot back, “Great… thanks for the cold coffee.”

His reply? “Why the heck do you think I bought you that microwave?”

I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. The memory came rushing back so clearly that I could practically hear little feet running around, smell the pine needles from our old Christmas tree, and see my exhausted self from a dozen years ago.

Flashback: Two Kids, One Worn-Out Mom

At the time, we had two young kids who were absolute tornadoes of energy. Kris was working around the clock trying to provide, and I was running on fumes, surviving on coffee and catnaps. Christmas was around the corner, and he had just gotten his Christmas bonus.

That Saturday before Christmas, Kris was determined to hit the city and find me the perfect gift. Naturally, I let him go even though every bone in my body wanted to scream, “Just let me nap.”

But my mind? Oh, it was racing. If he was going to spend an entire day shopping, then clearly this was going to be good. He took all day looooong. I didn’t see anything under the tree in the days leading up, which meant it had to be something small. Tiny even. Maybe diamond earrings? Maybe a gold necklace? Maybe Lululemon leggings? Maybe a spa gift certificate?

Oh, the possibilities were endless.

The Big Reveal

Christmas morning came. We poured our hot coffees, and the kids tore into their gifts like wild animals. Paper flying everywhere. Joy, squeals, laughter, wrapping paper stuck to socks.

And of course, Dad is doing their classic dad thing, standing in the middle of it all with a garbage bag, scooping up wrapping paper like it’s the one day a year something on the floor actually bothers them. But that’s another story, lol.

But me? I sat there quietly waiting and staring at the empty space under the tree. Huh. Where the heck is he hiding my gift?

Kris looked over at me with this mischievous grin and said, “Maybe you should warm your coffee up?”

Huh? “Nope, my coffee is hot.”

“Stac, really… maybe you should warm it up.”

At this point, I was getting frustrated. My coffee was fine. And more importantly, WHERE WAS MY GIFT?

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. He had bought me a freaking microwave.

A MICROWAVE. For Christmas.

He left me with two kids bouncing off the walls all day while he went shopping… for a kitchen appliance. And not even because ours was broken! I barely used the old one. It still worked just fine.

Classic husband move, right? Replace the one thing that doesn’t need fixing, but ignore the 47 things that actually do. The dripping tap? Fine. The squeaky door that wakes the baby every night? Totally fine. But the microwave that works perfectly? Oh yes, let’s spend the whole day picking out a new one of those.

And only husbands have the confidence to present it like it’s the crown jewel of Christmas morning. Like, ta-da! I know you’ve been dreaming of reheating leftovers in style. You’re welcome. Meanwhile, I’m over here just wishing for leggings that aren’t see-through or maybe one uninterrupted nap.

Looking Back

At the time, I may not have been impressed. Okay, that’s sugarcoating it. I was straight-up horrified. But now? Now we look back and laugh so hard at that Christmas.

And honestly, do you think men strategically plan this? Think about it… If you give someone a really good gift, you kind of get tagged as thoughtful, and the bar is set high. Suddenly, you are stuck with a lifetime of stressing about topping it. Maybe Kris had it right. Maybe this year, everyone is getting a freaking microwave.

Because in the end, the best gifts are not always the sparkly ones. Sometimes it is the “misses” that leave you with the best stories and the kind of laughter that sticks.

So now I’m curious, what is the funniest or strangest gift you have ever received?